Interesting times

It’s supposed to be a Chinese curse: May you live in interesting times.

I guess that just about describes my life at the moment: my life is about to change. To be precise, I have 54 days, 14 hours and 15 minutes until it changes. It’s not the first time it has changed, of course; there are many occasions where things change.

Sometimes the change is permanent. It was a pretty big change when I left school, for example, or when my first son was born.

Sometimes the change is more temporary. Going on holiday can be stressful, as life completely changes, but after a week or so it’s back the same as it was; I often debate with myself whether the stress of the change outweighs the pleasure.

Sometimes a change can be forced on us. That sort of change can be the most stressful. Sometimes it is we who choose to change, whether a move towards something more pleasant or away from something less pleasant.

A strange thought occurred to me recently: thinking of children and social networking, I realised that there was no precedent, that we can’t look back and think “It’s like…” because there has never been anything like it. We can’t learn from the past, because never has there been this freedom and flow of information overwhelming us. There are many more situations where we have to accept that things have moved on, that we can no longer assume that because it was… it should always be. Interesting times indeed – by the time we’ve figured out the rules they’ve changed anyay.

And yet there are many situations where we realise that we haven’t changed. That we still respond in the same way, even if it’s expressed differently, and that there are always people who seek the worst in any situation, and others who seek the best; those who seek war and those who seek peace.

A year 11 student, about to leave school, confessed to me that she was wearing leggings on the last day of term and had bunked off the day before “because I’d never done it before, Miss, and if I don’t do it now I’ll never have the chance.” Her life was about to change, and she was at the same time excited and afraid.

That describes me about now, I guess. I’m in a situation where I know things are going to change, but there’s not much I can do to prepare for this change yet, and it’s frustrating that I still have to get through a few more weeks before I can settle into new things. One aspect was worrying me, an aspect that was out of my control. Then today I realised it didn’t have to be out of my control: I could take charge and make my own decision, rather than having one forced on me. It’s amazing how liberating that can be.

So my countdown is set, I’m planning to do all I can towards my new life, and in the meantime I have to get through the next few weeks as efficiently and gracefully as I can. It’s going to be tough for those 54 days, but once they’re over I’m ready to move forward. And my life will be even more interesting, and it will also be a little more – and a little less – under my control.

 

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3 Comments

  1. (((((hugs)))))

    Had anymore thoughts on what you’re going to do ?

    xx

    Reply
    • Check out my website for part of it – also various other things in the boiling pot at the moment. We’ll just have to wait and see. The hard part is getting to the point where I have the time to sort things.

      Reply

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